Putting the"Court" back in Courting...the "Old Ball and Chain" Becomes the New Ball and Chain!

What is the longest sentence a judge can pronounce on a man ?

Give up ? It's "I now pronounce you man and wife." That's a sentence with no time off for good behavior. Even that sentence wasn't long enough for local police in Batavia, New York, who wound up arresting a groom for getting too close to his bride! The person presiding at the wedding (not a judge, we gather) was not authorized to say "You may now kiss the bride."

Why? Because when Timothy Cole reconciled with his ex-wife and remarried her, there was still an outstanding order of protection prohibiting him from getting within lip locking distance, let alone coming near her with a knife with which to to cut the cake. For some ex spouses to remarry is just a crime, and in this case it was a felony.

When a fight broke out at the wedding and the police were called, they knew Cole as a repeat customer who had accumulated many frequent flier miles with them. A computer check revealed that an order of protection was still outstanding, so the groom spent his wedding night in the local hoosegow sans the bride. The couple who had recently been joined the local gendarmes swiftly put asunder. Their wedding photo album will have a mug shot of the groom in it. (The Supremecourtjester's suggested defense for him: He thought an "order of protection" for a domestic dispute meant that he was required to wear a condom!)


In July Cole had been charged with violating the same order which now prohibits him from consummating the marriage until July 1, 2011, if he's out of jail for getting married by then. I guess the order of protection rules out conjugal visits that some married prisoners get. It goes to illustrate the old saying that marriages are made in heaven--the same place they make thunder and lightning.