State Senators' Lowjinks Giving Chaos a Bad Name

Devotees of Chaos Theory will study for years the machinations that transpired in the New York Senate in Albany, where two of the best senators money can buy declared themselves free agents (in the best traditions of the World Mud Wrestling Federation --an organization populated by good guys and bad guys who often change sides.) This is an intolerable situation because, as the governor observed recently, lobbyists don't know who to bribe to get their bills passed.

The Appellate Division granted an injunction against the Senate convening (At least for the moment) which is in place as I write this. There is actual obiter dictum to support such an action, as we previously noted. A classic observation by Surrogate Gideon J. Tucker that was contained in a New York Surrogate Court decision in 1866 (in Final Accounting in the Estate of A.B., 1 Tucker 248, N. Y. Surr. 1866) is: "No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the Legislature is in session.”

It appears that the two democrats who declared themselves potential Republicans if the price is right were purchased by Tom Golisano for future considerations. Golisano is an upstate billionaire and unsuccessful candidate for governor--the Ross Perot of New York State politics.

He recently declared himself a citizen of Florid-duh because (Choose one or more appropriate answers--this question is for extra credit):

(1) If New York won't elect him governor, so, he'll try some state with similar political mishigas;

(2) No Estate Tax in Florida, and he plans to inherit from himself;

(3) Cost of living for billionaires is lower in Florida at the moment --for example, State Senators are cheaper, not to mention the availability of Early Bird Specials (But if the early bird gets the worm, who wants trichnosis?)

(4) It's where elephants go to die;

(5) To take advantage of Florid-duh's boom and bust cycles. By "boom" we mean lots of guns (like in parks to protect you from birds and squirrels); and by "busts" we mean round ups of illegal aliens (you thought we were going to do a topless bar joke (Shame on you!).

As a result of two Democrats deciding to caucus with the Republicans, which in turn resulted in the Republican "majority" naming Senator Pedro Espada, Jr. President of the Senate, he will be the next in succession behind Gov. David Paterson. Espada could act as Governor in the event that the governor takes a vacation out of state, or goes to see a "New York" Giants home game in New Joisey. Mr. Espada is being investigated for his connections to a shady lawbreaker--himself. He has been fined more than $60,000 for failing to disclose his campaign contributions; the attorney general is investigating whether a nonprofit group he founded misappropriated money, and the Bronx district attorney is investigating whether his primary residence is in his district.

Although Gov. Paterson's approval ratings are lower than whale scat, Mr. Espada could be one of the few persons in New York with an even lower popularity rating--some job protection for an unpopular governor, I suppose.

Espada is following in the great tradition of Roman Senators. Emperor Caligula made his horse Incitatus a senator. Like Incitatus, Espada seems to be ready to take the taxpayers for a ride. The Times reports :" State Senator Pedro Espada Jr. requested more than $2 million dollars in Senate earmarks this year for two groups with links to the health care organization that he founded and which appeared to have been created in part to receive such grants, according to several Democratic officials and aides with knowledge of the requests."

The Times notes: "His cronies stole food meant for poor, sick people and gave it out at his political rallies. He owes the city $61,750 in fines for fraudulent campaign fund-raising going back to 2001. He has failed to file 41 reports with the State Board of Elections, and has racked up $13,553 in penalties since 2002. He does not have an office in the district he was elected to represent in the Bronx. In fact, it looks as if he doesn’t even live there." Does that make the Borough of the Bronx a "rotten borough?" If Gov. Paterson goes to the Jersey shore one weekend, and you are a toilet paper manufacturer who would like to buy the Adirondack Forest Preserve, you can guess who to call.