Jester Elected President of Procrastan Nation

Newt Gingrich, the former Speaker who has never stopped speaking and goes on and on and on like a slinky on an escalator, announced over the weekend that he intended to ignore the law of the land when it suits him.  Specifically, he will ignore Supreme Court decisions with which he disagrees because he will be the law of the land; and not liberal, egotistical judges (which should come as a relief to the egotistical judges that agree with the the Gingrinch who stole checks and balances when in Congress).

The Constitution established three co-equal branches of government, but as the Newster will tell you, some branches are more co-equal than others.  If Newt is elected the Executive Branch will be the last word and the most powerful, a shift from when the Legislative Branch was the most powerful when Newt was Speaker.

At least that's how Newt used to teach it back when he was the Overly Endowed GOPAC Professor of For Profit Civics Lessons at the Georgia College of Historical Truth, Upholstery, and Taxidermy.

Gingrich threatened to send judges who disagree with his constitutional views to the lunar penal colony he intends to set up to mine the moon with child labor from families in debtor's prisons. While it is not illegal to mine the moon, it is unclear under present international treaties who would actually own what was mined according to experts.  But to Newt that's just a legal technicality like the ones that got him in trouble as a Speaker, or those technical violations of his marriage vows that people keep harping on and on about.

However, it was pointed out to Gingrich that 2011 has not been kind to all powerful dictators--bringing with it the deaths of Kim Jung-il, Mummar Quadaffi, Osama Bin Laden, and Steve Jobs.

Strip mining the moon would certainly give those poor West Virginia mining families employment-- as long as the UMW is kept out of the picture.  Newton Leroy Gingrich for President of the Moon!  And as they say on Lunar Tunes cartoons "theah theah theah that's all folks."